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Did you start practicing mindfulness or meditation hoping it would quiet your thoughts, calm your nervous system, and bring a sense of peace?

Sometimes it does.

And sometimes it doesn’t. In fact, it can even seem to make anxiety worse.

Thoughts become louder.

Your body feels more tense.

Old worries or memories surface.

When this happens, many people assume one of two things:

• “I must be doing meditation wrong.”
• “Mindfulness just doesn’t work for me.”

So they stop practicing.

But this experience usually isn’t about doing mindfulness right or wrong. It’s about understanding what mindfulness and meditation actually do.

Mindfulness and meditation are not the same thing

Mindfulness is an innate human capacity.

It’s the ability to notice what is happening in the present moment—our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.

Meditation is an ancient practice (now strongly supported by modern research) that trains our ability to access and apply this capacity more consistently in everyday life.

Mindfulness begins with noticing your internal state.

For many people, that alone can feel uncomfortable.

Why?

Because one of our most common coping strategies is turning away from difficult experiences. We distract ourselves, stay busy, scroll on our phones, or push feelings aside.

Mindfulness asks us to do the opposite:

Turn toward what is happening inside.

If someone has a history of stress or trauma, this shift can feel particularly intense. In the past, shutting down or avoiding certain feelings may have been the most caring and accessible way to cope.

So when meditation begins to reveal what has been hidden, it can feel unsettling.

When meditation seems to make anxiety worse

Instead of calm and peace, meditation may reveal:

• racing thoughts
• muscle tension
• strong emotions

At that point it can seem like meditation is creating anxiety.

But in most cases, meditation is revealing anxiety that was already present.

To understand why, it helps to look more closely at how anxiety actually works.

Anxiety is driven by prediction

Modern neuroscience increasingly describes the brain as a prediction engine through frameworks such as Predictive Processing.

In this view, the brain is constantly generating predictions about:

• what is happening now
• what might happen next

These predictions shape what we perceive, feel, and think.

Anxiety can be understood as a prediction pattern in which the nervous system repeatedly anticipates threat or danger - sometimes regardless of the actual situation.

As Mark Twain once said:

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

When threat predictions become well learned, they show up automatically as:

body tension or guarding

mind scanning for problems

attention narrowing around potential dangers

Mindfulness and meditation help us notice these patterns more clearly.

But noticing the pattern is only the beginning.

Why meditation sometimes makes anxiety more noticeable

Three things commonly happen when people begin mindfulness practice.

1. Previously ignored internal signals become visible

Many people live with constant background tension without realizing it.

Over time, the nervous system tunes out this constant input.

When meditation brings attention back to the body, subtle sensations suddenly become noticeable:

• tightness in the chest
• shallow breathing
• restlessness

This can feel like anxiety is increasing, when in reality, awareness is increasing.

1. The mind resists losing control

An anxious mind often tries to manage uncertainty through constant analysis.

Meditation interrupts that strategy.

Instead of solving thoughts, the practice invites us to observe them.

For someone used to wrestling with worry through problem-solving, this shift can initially feel overwhelming or even unsafe.

1. Old emotional experiences can surface

When distractions such as constant busyness or phone scrolling fall away, previously avoided experiences may emerge:

• unresolved grief
• loss
• burnout and stress

Without support or practice making space for these experiences, this exposure can feel frightening.

This is one reason trauma-informed mindfulness approaches emphasize careful pacing and support.

Where meditation alone may not be enough

Meditation is powerful for developing non-judging awareness.

But awareness alone does not always change deeply learned emotional prediction patterns.

For example, you might clearly notice:

• catastrophic thoughts
• muscle tension
• the urge to escape a situation

Yet those reactions continue to arise automatically.

In some cases, simply noticing these experiences can even reinforce the mind’s mistaken prediction:

“Something must be wrong because I feel this way.”

At that point, additional psychological support can be helpful.

How therapy can support mindfulness practice

Certain therapies integrate mindfulness with additional psychological tools.

Approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) combine mindfulness practice with evidence-based methods that help people:

• shift their relationship to anxious thoughts
• process difficult emotions
• change avoidance patterns that keep anxiety cycling

These approaches help update the predictive patterns driving anxiety.

Signs that additional support might help

Meditation can be practiced independently, but certain experiences suggest working with a therapist may be useful.

Examples include:

• anxiety that persists or worsens despite regular meditation
• emotional flooding during mindfulness practice
• intrusive memories or trauma responses
• rumination that continues even when thoughts are observed
• anxiety interfering with work, relationships, or sleep

In these situations, mindfulness may still play an important role, but it often works best within a broader therapeutic process.

What mindfulness-based therapy actually does

When mindfulness is integrated with psychotherapy, three processes can happen together.

1. Awareness increases

Mindfulness helps people notice early warning signs in thoughts, emotions, and body sensations.

1. Predictions are examined

Therapy explores the assumptions and interpretations that trigger anxiety responses.

1. New experiences recalibrate the nervous system

Behavioral experiments and emotional processing gradually reshape the brain’s predictions.

Over time, this combination can reduce the automatic threat signals that drive anxiety.

The real intention of meditation

Many people begin meditation hoping their minds will finally become quiet.

That expectation often leads to frustration.

Meditation is not about eliminating thoughts.

It’s about learning to relate to thoughts and emotions differently.

Anxiety itself is not the problem - at low levels it’s actually helpful.

Mindfulness practice creates space to respond to anxiety more flexibly and confidently.

Sometimes meditation alone is enough to create that shift.

Sometimes additional therapeutic support helps open a new path forward.

Both approaches can work together.

When was the last time that you found yourself completely overwhelmed by negative thoughts? Maybe you were driving and suddenly remembered that looming deadline at work, and your thoughts began to tell you that you won’t be able to hack it. Or maybe your partner said something that triggered an insecurity, and you couldn’t stop running with the storyline that they’ll eventually leave you. Maybe it was just one small thing that triggered a cascade of worry and fear that you’re not worthwhile.

Ouch, these are painful thinking traps — patterns of negative thoughts that distort reality and keep us from seeing things as they really are. When our brain is overtaken by these types of thoughts, we can become stressed, anxious, and depressed.

Negative thinking traps can also cause us to lash out at others, numb out with substances and distractions, and avoid our daily responsibilities. Sometimes we’re not even aware that we’re experiencing distorted thoughts, but we notice the seemingly unbearable emotions or unwanted behaviors that soon follow.

If this feels familiar to you, there are tools based in mindfulness and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) to help get you out of these painful thinking loops and arrive back in the present moment, where you have the power to influence your well-being. These tools deepen our experience of our body in the present moment to ground us and help us to calm.

Many of us struggle to feel at home in our bodies, and that’s okay. Maybe you’re coping with chronic pain, carrying past traumas, or finding it difficult to accept your body as it is. You may feel numb in your skin and have trouble connecting to your body at all. Partnering these practices with self-compassion can go a long way to coming home to our bodies.

How to connect with your body

Here are some practices to help you get out of your negative thinking patterns and into your body. Practice them at your own pace, and see what feels right for you.

Release the stored tension in your body. Progressive muscle relaxation technique is a wonderful way to get into your body. Start by gently, yet firmly, tightening your muscles and then gently releasing them. You can begin at your feet and slowly work your way up through your legs, stomach, arms, and face - gently squeezing enough to notice the sensation, then letting go.

Use your senses as a doorway. Our five main senses (taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight) can serve as safe doorways that allow us to reconnect with our bodies. Practice opening your senses by experiencing something that tastes good, a soft blanket for touch, nature sounds to soothe you, watching a sunset, or using essential oils or burning a candle for a pleasant smell. Gently open yourself up to receiving these sensory gifts. Touch and smell can be especially powerful ways to move out of our thoughts and ground ourselves in this moment.

Take a soothing bath or shower. Instead of just washing up and hopping right out, slow your roll to really connect with your senses. Deeply inhale the scents of your soap or shampoo and feel the warmth of the water on your skin. When you notice yourself slipping into thoughts, bring your attention back to the warmth and scents surrounding you.

Do a body scan meditation. Instead of solely focusing on the breath, this type of meditation focuses on each region of the body. Start at your toes and work your way up to the top of your head, just noticing the sensation in each area. When you encounter a pleasant sensation, pause to savor it. If you encounter an unpleasant emotion, practice allowing it to just be, without the need to react or push it away. If you encounter a blank spot, just notice this too. When you drift off into thoughts, that’s okay. Just bring your attention back to the region where you left off.

Find refuge in your body. If connecting with your physical body seems scary or overwhelming, this tool can help. Name one location of your body that seems okay to connect to. Maybe it’s your left big toe or the tip of your nose. Bring your attention to this safe space, noticing things like the temperature of your skin or the muscle tension. As you become more comfortable with hanging out here, consider expanding your field of focus to include a little more of your body, as much as feels good for you. You decide how far and how fast to go.

Release feel-good hormones. Our touch releases the “hug hormone” oxytocin, creating a calm and soothing experience. Start with what feels safe for you. Maybe you try putting one hand on your arm, your leg, or over your heart. Bring your attention to the gentle pressure and warmth of your hand upon your body. You can rub or knead your skin to further enhance the feel-good feelings. Consider working your way up to a self-hug — wrapping your arms around your upper body and giving a gentle squeeze.

Move your body freely. A wonderful way to feel our bodies again is by simply moving around. You can use formal movement practices, like yoga or Tai Chi, or more informal movement like stretching, walking, or dancing around. Tuning into our muscles as they tense and loosen, noticing how our arms and legs rise and fall, and how our core balances creates an opportunity to recognize and appreciate all the amazing things our bodies can do.

There’s no perfect or right way to get in touch with your body. Go at your own pace and know that you can customize any of the suggestions shared so that they feel right for you. Over time, you’ll be able to tap into safe, comfortable, and soothing ways to move out of your thoughts, ground yourself, and relax right in the safety of your own body.

I am not a morning person. Finding a moment of mindfulness by rolling out of bed and onto my meditation cushion won’t work for me… I’ll just fall asleep on the cushion.

I’m also great at coming up with reasons not to meditate. For example, on my recent 15-minute drive to my office, I spent ten minutes debating whether or not I should meditate upon my arrival. I told myself, “It’s Friday! I want to start work early, so that I can leave early. Missing one day is not a big deal.”

I’ve been practicing meditation for over 25 years and, yep, I still have these moments. But, guess what I did when I got to my office? I got my butt on the cushion, quieted my mind, and meditated. After taking this time for myself, I was able to approach the day with a much clearer and calmer mind. I know (and experience) the benefits of regular mindfulness meditation even when I’m busy making excuses.

Research on the benefits of mindfulness meditation has exploded over the past several years with a consistent stream of positive findings. Meditation can lower your blood pressure, ease anxiety and depression, help you sleep better, and change the wiring of your brain. So, given all the proven benefits, why do we still sometimes do mental gymnastics to avoid taking care of ourselves?

Habits aren’t formed overnight.

Any new healthy behavior takes a few months to become our new normal…and, sometimes, the full benefits may not be apparent until we have some consistent practice behind us. Consider starting small and setting small goals. Maybe even connect with one of our coaches to help you.

Sometimes it’s hard to sit and feel.

One of our primary strategies for dealing with mental and emotional discomfort is avoidance. Sometimes it’s just easier to stream a season of our favorite show, clean the entire house, or convince ourselves that a work project simply cannot wait. When something is stirring within, the last thing we want to do is stop and let it be seen and felt.

Meditation offers a kinder, more gentle way.

Honestly, meditation isn’t about exposing ourselves to pain or suffering. Mindfulness equips us with a kinder way to be with all that may be churning within us. It allows us to reclaim our innate ability to sit within the eye of a hurricane, observing but not being swept away by the winds of thought, sensations, and emotions.

When we can witness the true nature of what is going on inside of us, we discover the capacity to gently be with the experiences of our lives. We stop avoiding and start living. We discover we are far more capable of being with what life throws at us.

It’s not one size fits all.

There are many different types of meditation, so a good place to start is finding out what works best for you. Locate a place with as few distractions as possible, take a comfortable posture, and focus your attention on a mantra, the breath, an object, or whatever works best for you.

Mindfulness meditation falls into three general categories of practice.

Formal meditation is about carving out space in your day for a dedicated practice. The duration is not as important as consistency. This allotted time (anywhere from a couple of minutes to an hour) enhances your ability to simply be more mindful. Some people prefer to listen to guided meditations, while others go it alone.

Informal mindfulness practice can be anytime, anywhere. It’s simply taking a moment to notice what is going on in that very moment. In essence, we get out of our heads and get present in our lives…allowing us to feel the breeze on our face or relish a soothing cup of tea.

Movement practices can be more structured, like yoga, or less structured, like feeling our bodies in motion while we’re stretching or walking.

So, in the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, I meditate whether I feel like it or not. Whether it’s formally, informally, or by moving my body, I practice mindfulness because it leads to big changes in how I feel. No matter if you’re a beginner or have a well-worn cushion at home, try taking a few minutes for yourself today with one of Sanvello’s breathing exercises. We all deserve to feel the benefits of mindful meditation.

You know the voice. That one in your head that throws little doubts in your path. “You’re no good at this. Why even try? Just give up.” That little voice questioning our value is our inner critic.

But what is our inner critic?

First, let’s talk thoughts. We experience our thoughts in two forms, auditory and visual, and one way we experience auditory thoughts is an inner voice we can listen to like anyone else’s voice. But it is not just any voice – it’s us talking to ourselves – a sort of inner narrator to our lives. And frequently, this inner narrator can also be our harshest critic.

It’s not only the words that this inner narrator uses to judge us, but a tone that can be downright mean. This critic may be very familiar, or you may not even notice it droning in the background, but on some level, we’re still listening, nonetheless. This undercurrent of critical chatter can be a powerful force in weakening our inner strength and lowering our sense of self-worth.

Are there ways to deal with it?

We have a few options for working with this inner critic. One is to ignore it. You have likely already tried this approach by redirecting our attention away – literally listening to something external – or engaging other sensory doorways of vision, taste, smell, or touch to distract ourselves from our inner narrator. Sort of like the way we can use a white noise machine to drown out other noises. This can be a short-term solution, but it is not sustainable over longer periods. We need more tools in our “managing the inner critic toolbox” than just ignoring.

How do people move past a critical internal narrative?

For a sustainable approach, the first step is to acknowledge the internal chatter. Taking a step back and listening to both the words and tone of this inner narrator. From this place of awareness, we have a few options. We can reality check what the critic is saying against actual evidence. This is especially important with the “shoulds, nevers, always” kind of thoughts, like “I’ll never be good at this” or “I always embarrass myself.” It’s important to remind ourselves that thoughts are not facts, even when we feel like they are.

Another approach is to offer ourselves some compassion. How would you speak to a close friend or a child? In that scenario, you would never say, “yeah, you’re the worst. Just give up.” Instead, try intentionally extending yourself the same kindness you would to a dear friend. Say to yourself, “I did do my best, this was beyond my control, I do deserve happiness.” This can soften the harsh edges of the inner critic and begin to bring balance to our inner conversation. The challenge is not to turn it into an inner debate – just balancing. If you find your critic retorting with “yeah, but…” repeat the compassion.

Finally, a mindfulness approach is to simply observe the statements from a safe distance. We do this by applying a label to the thoughts – “judging, critic, self-defeating” – choosing a label that has meaning for you. You can even get creative: “There’s my Thought Gremlin, at it again!” Or name this voice, “There goes Joe again.” When we label thoughts or thinking traps like this, it exposes them to the light of day and lessens their capacity to stick around. After a while, these thoughts may even start to get kind of boring, “Oh, you again.”

Can you change how your inner critic acts over time?

In many ways, our inner critic took years to hone. And it was learned. So, the good news is that anything learned can also be unlearned and replaced. From a brain perspective, the adage “neurons that fire together, wire together” fits here. When I let the inner critic run rampant, it has free rein to yack away all the time. As we acknowledge its presence and start to practice giving space for our inner cheerleader and comforter, we reinforce that voice to eventually get more airtime and the critic less. Just like Nielsen ratings – the one with the higher ratings prevails!

Meditation is good for us. It reduces stress, improves our quality of sleep, boosts our compassion, helps us manage anxiety, and positively impacts our life satisfaction. But if meditation is so good for us, why is it so hard to turn it into a habit? Well, making new habits stick can be tricky. We’re creatures of routine, not of changing routines.

Thankfully, if you’ve struggled to make meditation an everyday practice, please explore these strategies that can help. After all, who wouldn’t want the chance to feel less stressed, control their anxiety, have better emotional health, enhance their self-awareness, lengthen their attention span, reduce age-related memory loss, be kinder, improve their sleep, and improve their relationship with pain?

Meditation has been shown to do all of that, so let’s get started.

1. Start small

Think you need to sit down for 20 minutes to reap the benefits of meditation? Think again. All new activities benefit from starting small. If you want to get into running, you shouldn’t start with a six-mile run. If you wanted to try skiing, no one would advise you to try the double black diamond first. The same goes for meditation. Meditation is literally all about practice - that’s why it’s called a “meditation practice,” not meditation perfection. Start with just a few minutes a day of simply inviting a moment of pause. You can even just try sitting still for a few minutes each day without meditating. Just get used to setting aside a little bit of time to be away from phones, computers, TVs, books, and people - time that you can just be with yourself. Let the pause be your introduction to a meditation practice. When that becomes familiar, incorporate a guided meditation as your next step.

2. Attach it to an existing habit

One of the simplest ways to create a new habit is to attach it to an existing one. What does this mean? Well, it could mean that after you brush your teeth in the morning, you meditate. You begin to associate teeth brushing with meditating, and it becomes routine: wake up, brush teeth, meditate, wake up, brush teeth, meditate.

And you can attach meditation to pretty much any habit. Meditate after you finish a workout. Meditate before a workout! Meditate after you finish walking the dog. Meditate at your desk before your first Zoom call of the day. Meditate in your car before or after a long day at work. Meditate on a bench between classes. Meditate in bed before you go to sleep. Meditate in a conference room (or on your couch) after lunch.

All that’s important is that you’re attaching the habit of meditation to another regular habit. It doesn’t need to be every day - just regular enough to make a practice stick.

3. Incorporate “forgiveness days”

Speaking of “regular enough,” make sure to allow yourself some forgiveness days. Forgiveness days are just days you miss without all the guilt. Is meditating every day good for you? Of course. But taking a day off now and then isn’t bad for you. Many apps that offer meditation incorporate a feature called a “run streak,” but run streaks are actually counter to the point of meditation. Meditation helps us foster compassion toward others and ourselves. Getting upset with ourselves because we missed a day of meditation isn’t healthy or useful.

To keep a practice, allow yourself the space to take days off. And then compare the days you meditated with the days you didn’t – how are they different? This allows you to become more aware of the benefits of meditation, which reinforces your commitment to make it stick!

One thing to keep in mind, though: if you’re skipping a day because you’re overwhelmed with deadlines and expectations, that may be a day when meditating could be especially helpful.

4. Rethink what meditation is

Two of the main reasons people give up on meditation are the following: I can’t clear my mind, or I am not seeing benefits.

Let’s tackle the first one. Meditation is not about emptying your head. Our minds create thoughts, and if you’re not thinking, you may have bigger problems – like your brain not functioning! Meditation doesn’t eradicate our thoughts; it helps us have a better relationship with them.

Imagine a messy closet, the kind you sort of throw things in without really looking, the kind you promise to organize… just not right now. When you finally sit down to organize that closet, you need to make a bigger mess first. When you take everything out of the closet, it spills into the hallway or room, and you have to sort everything into piles. This process can feel overwhelming! You might even think, “Ugh, why did I start this project?” But once it’s all sorted, you feel great. You were able to find things you thought you’d lost, give everything a proper home, and you were probably even able to let some things go, making space in your closet.

The mind is similar, and meditation helps us organize it. When we first sit down with our thoughts, it’s like opening that messy closet. Most of us just want to close the door and deal with it later. But the sooner we start organizing, the sooner we feel better. It’s also important to remember we didn’t throw away everything in the closet. The closet is still full of things! We just know what they are. It’s the same with meditation. You don’t get rid of your thoughts, you just learn to recognize them, categorize them, and choose what to do with them.

On to the second point, it would be a magic trick to snap your fingers and see a messy closet just poof! into a clean one. We have developed our current relationship with emotions and thoughts over decades. You may experience some benefits right away, like some moments of less stress and calm, but typically, the sustainable benefits of meditation take time. Starting to experience some discomfort and struggle is a sign you are walking the path of mindfulness (how’s that for a reframe?!) Trying to make meditation “work” is like trying to make yourself fall asleep. The benefits come out of practicing, whether you feel like doing it or not - just like exercise.

To quote Jon Kabat-Zinn, “meditate whether you feel like it or not.” Even just ten days of meditation has been shown to decrease stress by 14%. Managing our expectations can go a long way to giving ourselves some grace as we head out on this great new adventure of living mindfully, too.

Life happens. And when it does, we’re not always prepared. A sudden conflict with someone, a piece of bad news, or even our thoughts can trigger a rush of tension.

These distressing events may make our faces flush, our hearts race, and our brains fog up. Why does this happen? A stressful event can trigger a release of stress hormones that drive immediate changes in which brain networks are activated.

That’s why, before we even know it, we’re thinking less clearly and creatively about the situation before us. When we’re stressed, we are like a fighter with one (or even two) hands tied behind our backs.

The good news is that we do have the power to release these binds and free ourselves. Here are four evidence-backed ways to calm your mind when life goes off the rails:

1. 4×4 or Box Breathing

Ever been stressed and someone told you to take some deep breaths? It’s not bad advice, but it’s also a little vague. What constitutes a deep breath? How many is ‘some’? Why don’t I feel better yet? A more defined technique is 4×4 breathing—also known as box or square breathing. Researchers have shown that this technique not only reduces cortisol levels but also improves sustained attention.

How to do it: Find a comfortable place to sit with your feet on the floor. Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose while slowly counting to four. Hold that breath for four seconds. Finally, let the breath out and exhale for four seconds. Repeat steps an additional three times.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

Back in the 1930s, a doctor named Edmund Jacobson posited that mental calmness is directly tied to physical relaxation. He hypothesized that if we could make our bodies relax on command, then that process may have a similar effect on our minds, too. Turns out he was spot-on: Many studies have shown that the progressive muscle relaxation technique, which involves gradually tightening and releasing your muscles from head to toe, reduces symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression.

How to do it: Find a comfortable spot where you can sit or lie down. Inhale and tense the muscles in your feet and legs. Exhale and release your muscle tension, and feel your feet and legs relax. Repeat this process as you work up your body, eventually reaching your neck and head. Imagine the stress leaving your body as you release the tension in each muscle group. Repeat as necessary.

3. Low- or moderate-intensity exercise

While it seems to be general knowledge that exercise improves our mental well-being, it’s often not second nature to immediately start exercising when you need to calm your mind. And you don’t have the hith the gym or track. A 15-20 minute walk, or similar light aerobic exercise, can clear your mind. Researchers have found that walking can quickly reduce acute stress and blood pressure.

How to do it: Lace up your shoes and go for a walk. Ideally, outside for the added wellness benefits of being exposed to green and blue spaces, but inside works, too. To help shift from doing to being mode, instead of a timer, just walk at a pace that is comfortable for you and keep going until you’re feeling a bit more present in body and your head is clearer. When you notice your mind has wandered back to the stressor, practice reclaiming your focus by directing your attention back to your body and surroundings as you stroll.

4. 1:1 time with nature

If you’re sitting at your desk or on your couch when an acutely stressful event occurs, it could help to head outside. Scientists have found that our environment influences our mental health, and that spending time outdoors—especially in green or blue spaces—can reduce the experience of stress.

How to do it: We don’t think you need instructions for this one. Head outside for some fresh air. Just remember to dress appropriately for the weather, and seek out green or blue (water) spaces if you can.

What is mind up to when we are not focused on the task at hand? Research suggests that we are highly prone to mind wandering. Given the long list of benefits from mindfulness, or being present, lack of focus or wandering must be an undesirable state we need to avoid. But like most things in life, the answer is far from black or white. A deeper dive into the research reveals the subtlety of this question.

Research by Matt Killingsworth reveals that mind wandering is a common occurrence. Up to 47% of the time, we are lost in thoughts rather than focused on the task at hand. His research reveals this occurs whether we like the current activity or not. Even when we do not like the activity, mind wandering results in less happiness than being present with the unpleasant experience. Score one for “no!” to mind wandering.

Amisha Jha’s research reveals that our mind wandering tends to be comprised of self-reflection and negative affect. In other words, we think about ourselves and get depressed! Again, mind wandering looks like something to avoid.

But what about times when we find ourselves slipping off into a creative mode of wandering? Consider stories of artists, scientists and inventors who discovered the fruits of their labor when they leave the studio, lab or workshop and allow mind to go unleashed. Is this the same state studied by Killingsworth and Jha?

Going further back in the research, we find the answer. Jerome Singer refers to different states of mind wandering. One form looks back into our past. This ruminative state is associated with negative thoughts and affect. More recent research also finds an increase in stress hormones with this looking backward. When looking forward, we shift into a more creative mode of wandering. Singer’s research also revealed that both of these states can occur spontaneously or volitionally.

But the nuances of wandering are more than just whether we look forward or backward. Other wandering states can include a positive rewriting of past events, similar to the process used in narrative therapy, and unrealistic “what-if-ing” as we drift off into the future.

A paper by Smallwood and Andrews-Hannah offers us an alternative view on mind wandering. Depending upon the complexity of the task, the content of the wandering, and the baseline well-being of the individual, mind wandering can either be beneficial or detrimental. So much for a simple black and white answer to our original question - now what?!

How might we limit the negative effects and harness the positive effects of mind wandering? We can draw upon mindfulness for some possibilities. First, by increasing our capacity to observe thoughts, we can catch and shift out of backward rumination or unrealistic forward conjecturing. When we find ourselves in creative wandering, we can take note of the conditions that gave rise to this mode, both internally and externally, learning to nurture this imaginative state.

Rather than being at odds, perhaps mindfulness and mind wandering can be partnered into new modes of mental wellbeing.

Not all minds that wander are lost: the importance of a balanced perspective on the mind-wandering state

Pick up an object, such as a pen, a coffee mug or an iPhone. Pull back your arm and prepare to throw - now stop! Before the object leaves your hand, can you predict where it will land? Thanks to good ol’ Mr. Newton (of apple fame), we can predict where the object will come to rest.

OK, how about a coin toss? Surely, a coin toss is too random to know the outcome. Again, thanks to the wonders of mathematics, once we know all the initial conditions prior to the toss, we can predict heads or tails (coin tossing machines can generate a predictable toss 100% of the time).

OK, you say, maybe we can predict the outcome of some simple physical objects in motion, but surely my happiness is beyond prediction. Or is it?

In our lives, we also experience causality (aka Karma). Every action results in an outcome. My reaction to an event will lead to a particular outcome, resulting in another reaction and another outcome and the cycle continues. Just as we can predict that releasing an object will result in it dropping to the floor, we are capable of recognizing that clenching teeth all day results in a headache. Tracing the causality back further, we recognize that replaying an argument over and over again in our mind results in clenching our teeth. So perhaps we are capable of catching the causality that drives our suffering or happiness.

The key to enacting this predictive capacity relies upon awareness. On autopilot, we miss the conditions and only recognize the negative outcome, breaking through to awareness, making us feel as though we have little control over our current state. Mindfulness invites an expanded awareness to catch the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) initial conditions that drive us to suffering or happiness. In noticing the tense jaw and the replay in my mind, I can shift my awareness from the thoughts to the experience of breathing, allowing the thoughts to rise and fade, rise and fade, rise and fade, and become nothing more than an event to be observed rather than reacted to.

Within this field of expanded awareness dwells a choice. I can choose the old and familiar (such as jaw tensing) that drives the suffering. Or I can “run the experiment” and practice a new choice (shift focus to breathing), and see if happiness may be found in this moment, after all.

In other words, perhaps happiness is not some random or elusive event, but predictable!

What is Random?

Looking back, what shall be left behind?

What served me not in twelve months past?

What brought suffering upon me and others?

What expectations now exposed unrealistic?

Now before me, an open hand, ready to receive.

What previously pushed away by fist held tight?

What vital needs denied?

What long hushed gifts shall now be claimed, shall be truly owned?

Looking forward, what myths do I see now truth lacking?

What threads added by another, weakened the tapestry of my life?

What story anew shall I weave in the twelve months to come?

With each breath in, I arrive in the present moment.

With each breath out, I open to freshness, clarity and Light.

May we be Happy,

May we be at Peace,

May we be free from suffering,

May we be free.

Upon receiving a sensation (sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches and ideas) and weaving a narrative, we experience an emotion. Often, we are not even aware of this flow until we find ourselves in some unexpected mood. And our typical reaction, as thinking beings, we ask, “Why?” Why am I feeling this way? Sometimes, the answer is apparent - something deemed either good or bad just happened, and we immediately connect the dots. Wonderful!

But what about the all too frequent occasions when the emotional math does not add up? How do we typically react? Do we double down on thinking our way out of this feeling, continuing to ask “why?” When that still fails, we start to pave our path forward with shoulds: “I should be feeling…!” In the end, we dig a deeper hole as we try to think the feeling. If digging deeper fails to reveal the answer, perhaps a new approach is called for. Instead of a problem to be solved, emotions are an energy to be experienced.

Mindfulness invites us to linger a little longer with unpleasant emotions. In doing so, we discover a powerful shift in our relationship with emotions. First, like all forms of energy, emotions are far from static. They are dynamic - constantly changing and ultimately, fading away in the moment. It is not the emotions that persist, but our retelling of the story that retrigger the transient flow of emotional energy.

Secondly, we are bigger than the emotion. When we attempt to fight against the energy, the ensuing battle creates an overwhelming foe. But when we step back and hold the emotional energy within our field of awareness, we experience ourselves as not only bigger than the emotion, but far more capable of residing in its presence. Emotions become not a foe to be feared, but another thread within the tapestry of our days, our lives. They add vibrance, color and texture to our experience. When we shift from having to do something with them to simply experiencing the unfolding flow, we discover how this energy is integral to our wholeness. We discover how emotions are not something to be feared, but rather another layer of our human experience to be embraced.

…but do I really want to stick to it? Once we receive information through our six senses (taste, touch, smell, hear, see, think), the storytelling begins. The new information is not contained within a vacuum, but immediately referenced against our history. Our internal referencing is far from accurate, as we recall similar experiences from our past that seem relevant to this information received in the moment.

Typically occurring at a level of awareness far too low to be consciously acknowledged, we weave a tale which may or may not accurately assess the current experience. In essence, we become scriptwriters, spinning an internal narrative. Any downstream effects, be they emotional and/or behavioral, are dependent upon these internal narratives. We easily become lost in the emotional reactions deeply carved into these old stories, retold over and over, instead of opening to the fresh new scenario unfolding before our eyes (and ears, noses, skin, tongues, minds).

So, how accurate is your internal storyteller? When was the last time you reality-tested your internal narrator? The first step in reality testing requires a gap between receiving and reacting. Mindfulness creates just such a gap. By developing the capacity to witness our internal storyteller, we begin to see how he or she cheats us out of truly assessing the reality of this moment. Our storyteller tends to prefer digging deep and resurrecting the old scripts rather than allowing the new to be truly seen and heard (and touched, smelled, tasted, thought). These old stories, while perhaps inaccurate, are at least comfortable in their familiarity. They do not require much effort, as the necessary reaction is a foregone conclusion.

But comfortable in one moment could easily be stifling in another. The reality of this moment offers a new opportunity to stretch beyond the old stifling ways and reach into new possibilities. These possibilities invite us to leave the confinement of the “shoulds, nevers and always” and step into “perhaps.” Mindfulness not only affords us just such an opportunity, but also the courage to take the next step and experiment with a new response in this moment.

The next time you find yourself deep within YOUR story, instead of sticking to it - breathe, step back, open to the unfolding now, and play within the possibilities.

Look around - what do you see? To our eyes, we appear to see solid objects before us, unchanging in this moment. But this stability is an illusion. Seeing is a creation of our brain. And recent research at MIT and Berkeley reveals that this creation of seeing is an amalgamation of the information arriving at our eyes over the past 12 seconds.

Now take a moment to count: “1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi”… all the way up to 12 Mississippis. How long did you remain focused on the task of counting? Did you drift off during a “Mississippi?” According to research by Matt Killingsworth, 43% of the time, we mind wander or drift off. And where do we drift off to? Research from Amisha Jha reveals that we drift into rumination about ourselves and experience a negative mood.

What do we discover when we combine these findings? Our current perception is created over the past 12 seconds; about half of those past 12 seconds, we are not even present; during those 5 seconds of mind wandering, we are ruminating about ourselves and feeling depressed. Let’s extrapolate that out to 24 hours - now that sounds like a fun day - pass the Prozac!

So, where can we intervene in this neural process of creating our perceptions of the moment? What aspect of our perceptions are malleable? Or are we doomed to our neural hardware? Mindfulness research demonstrates that even for a beginner to meditation, our capacity to focus is not only easily accessed, but also enhanceable. And not only can mindfulness act as a software to enhance our capacity to focus, but it can also alter the hardware of our brains. Changes in connection and density of brain structures attributed to focus and compassion occur with a consistent mindfulness practice.

So, with the influence of mindfulness, we can limit our wanderings into self and negativity and arrive in the unfolding moment of these 12 seconds. Welcome to Here-Now (or at least as close as we can get!).

The Imperfect Visual Perception System: How Our Brains Weave A Story Out Of Broken Bits

Early in life, it’s simple. Our days are filled with playing, eating and sleeping. As we grow older, new tasks appear. With only twenty-four hours, we cut back on the play, eat and sleep to make room for these tasks - but we still make time for playing, eating and sleeping. We know, on an intuitive level, that playing, eating and sleeping are vital to our wellbeing.

At some point, like the proverbial boiled frog, our To Do list overflows and the tasks become a higher priority than playing, eating and sleeping. While the drivers for this flip are many, the outcome is the same: playing, eating and sleeping are relegated to the “Later List.” A funny thing about this list - like the horizon, we never arrive in Later land. Our field of vision becomes a narrow slit, focused on the ever demanding tasks of the To Do list. Any activities that divert from these tasks receive the pre-requisite knee-jerk of “I don’t have time for that!” Welcome to the “Too Busy” trap - where playing, eating, sleeping or any activity that promotes health, creativity, and re-energizing are nowhere to be found.

Are we doomed as adults to be slaves to the unrelenting To Do list? Perhaps not. Our path to reclaim balance can be found in the Zen proverb, “You should sit in meditation (or play, eat, sleep) for twenty minutes every day - unless you’re too busy; then you should sit (play, eat, sleep) for an hour.” In other words, when our lives have become out of balance, we need to make balance a priority - balance between the modes of being and doing. As children, being was the only mode we knew - we fully embraced each unfolding moment. As we grew older, we first experimented and then honed our talents and skills, but we retained the capacity to shift from doing mode back into being.

The older we grow, however, we are swept away by our culture’s high value of doing. Rather than being viewed as equal partners, being becomes relegated to a lower rung on the “success” ladder. Even when we attempt to embrace enjoyable activities, we are challenged to shed the doing mode. While playing, eating and sleeping, the drum beat of the To Do list is never too far from our attention. The toll of this go, go, go can be seen on our bodies: studies reveal over half of our visits to our primary care doctors are stress-related. “All work and no play make Jack” and all of us not only dull, but literally sick!

Back to our Zen proverb - a return to balance requires intentionality. The practice of mindfulness, no matter how brief, places us in being mode. Create a space in your day to drop off the To Do list and slip into being mode. Perhaps instead of eating lunch at your desk, take your food outside and enjoy the beautiful day. Instead of walking and reading emails, raise your gaze and greet the eyes of the person approaching. Even a task such as doing dishes can become a moment of being by feeling the warm water, smelling the suds, and observing the sheen off the bubbles. Within each moment is the opportunity to shift from doing to being. And reclaim balance. Or in the melodic words of Frank Sinatra, “Do Be Do Be Do.”

A friend offers you three apples, but discovers they only have two to give. At another time, a friend initially offers you only one apple, but then discovers they have two for you.

Now the question: do you feel differently about these two exchanges? The outcome is the same – from a simple numbers perspective. But in multiple studies, the loss of the former item outweighs the gain of the latter one from an emotional perspective. Not only has this reaction been replicated several times with humans, but our primate cousins also demonstrate loss aversion. In other words, this tendency to feel loss more than gain goes way back in our evolution!

We seem to be hardwired to avoid loss. We can easily see how this would be of benefit when our very survival depended on getting adequate food, shelter and clothing. Loss could easily mean death. But despite our nice cozy homes and overflowing grocery stores, this evolutionary fear remains. The same neurological circuitry is applied to any loss, be it tangible (“Who ate the ice cream?!”) or less tangible (“Why has he not called me?!”).

When these old emotional circuits begin to ring out, we also have a multitude of well-honed coping tools (such as the ice cream above, a Friends marathon on Netflix, or a deep dive into TikTok). While these habits offer short-term relief, the “loss” ping still rings deep in our emotional brain. What is a person to do?

Mindfulness creates a “one-step-back” stance to observe this old emotional reaction. Not only can we see it, but in this pause, a choice appears. Rather than the old knee-jerk “reach for the spoon and pint of double-fudge-chocolate-chip,” we can hold both the reaction and our tendency to distract in our field of awareness. This holding space lessens the reverberations of the loss as well as offers us the opportunity for a new alternative – to go for a walk, phone a friend, feel the warmth of the sun, or pet our dog. Each time we allow ourselves to be with the sense of loss, we discover we are more than that feeling, and feeling is transitory. Over time, we experience loss as an event in the moment, no more or less than a gain in another moment. Over time, we shed our evolutionary bias and arrive anew, in this moment.

How will you engage this moment? Will you flip the switch into autopilot? Or will you accept the invitation to step fully step into the here-now?

Within each and every moment, we have an opportunity. We can continue to reinforce the habitual, the tried and true, the known. And in doing so, we will continue to arrive at the same outcome as all the past moments.

Or we can accept the invitation to step fully into this moment. To completely inhabit body. What might we discover in this exploration of the here-now? Who knows? And this is exactly the point. For it is in this moment that Life is unfolding. It is only in this moment that the answers dwell. It is only in this moment that we experience all that Life offers.

Leaving the familiar of autopilot can be scary. Even though autopilot leaves us at the whim of our thoughts, at least the territory is known. At least the demons that dwell there carry no surprises, as we have done battle time and time again. But what would it be like to drop the sword, expose those demons for the illusionary wisps of thought that they are? What would it be like to shift our energy not to the known battle but back into this unfolding moment? We just may discover that those demons cannot dwell in the fresh light of day. They run and scatter as we empower them no more. We just may find a Bigger Me that has no need for those battles of old. A Bigger Me that breaths in the cool, clear air of here and breaths out into the expansiveness of now. A Bigger Me, free from shackles, free to run and play!

“Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’

doesn’t make sense anymore.”

~ Rumi

By now, most of us are aware of the benefits of eating healthier, exercising more, and decreasing stress. And yet, how many of us make these habits part of our daily routine? You two in the back can put your hands down now! For the rest of us, we struggle and slip back into too much of this and not enough of that. This reality reveals the gap between “knowing” and “going” with healthier behaviors. So, how do we get unstuck and make the shift from know to go?

The secret to this stuckness lies in understanding the power of familiarity and the challenge of change. From studies of quitting smoking, Prochaska and DiClemente revealed that the process of change is more than a simple shift, but a series of stages. Change begins with the acknowledgement that the status quo is in some way harmful to our well-being. Even with this acknowledgement, we tend to fall into “yes, but” - yes, we recognize the need to change, but the benefits of the current behavior outweigh the potential future benefits of the change. This current gains/future benefits hill seems like an insurmountable mountain. The sweetness of the chocolate cake or the ease of the elevator ride today are simply more tangible than the possibility of feeling healthy and well in some undetermined future.

What is needed to grasp a future state and pull it into the present moment? Several factors increase our likelihood of success. The three pillars of change include motivation, skills and knowledge, and a supportive environment. The more this triad trends in our favor, the more likely we are to begin the journey into health and wellness. Motivation may begin from outside (a cheaper health insurance premium or a persistent partner!). To be sustained, it needs to find a foothold within. But wanting something is not enough. Knowledge and skills are needed to turn a want into action. Finally, being the odd man out tends to prove too powerful, and the gravitational pull of the crowd can draw us back to the familiar. Surrounding ourselves with people who bring cheers for success and compassionate accountability for slips provides a “wind at our back” to continue on, especially with the steepness of the early learning curve.

With a foundation of the three pillars of change in place, SMART goals create concrete steps along the path. “Specific” transforms the want into a tangible action. “Measurable” provides the metric for progress and success. “Attainable” clarifies the necessary knowledge and skills to act. “Realistic” invites a gut check on our willingness to take the step. Finally, “timely” defines when we put a plan into action and an urgency to achieve a target. Together, a series of well-crafted SMART goals places us onto a step-by-step progression free from ambiguity and a sustainable path.

Mindfulness undergirds all the above change factors with the clarity of awareness. Any successful change begins with awareness of where we currently reside. Mindfulness invites change by replacing self-criticism with a realistic assessment of our current state. Once free from the tyranny of self-criticism and doubt, we can access a playful curiosity to experiment with healthier behaviors and identify those that move us forward from those that keep us stuck. We also more easily recognize the conditions that undermine or reinforce our forward momentum.

Taken as a whole, understanding the process of change, the three pillars, SMART goals, and mindfulness create a fertile ground from which to make the move from know to go!

What is our brain up to when we are doing nothing? Just like a car in idle, studies reveal an idle mode for our brain, as well. Amisha Jha’s research demonstrates a default network active at rest. This network includes regions of our brain associated with self-referencing and negative affect. In other words, when we are doing nothing, we think about ourselves and become depressed! And just like a car engine, we do not actively choose this mode. We naturally slip into the default network when we are not actively engaging our brain in a task. As we saw in last month’s blog, our typical escape from rumination is the denial/distraction reaction.

Except that the denial/distraction reaction is a lousy alternative. Studies by Matt Killingsworth reveal that denial and distraction are of limited benefit. Forty-three percent of the time, we are mind-wandering – not focused on the present moment. So even when we are doing something, we are off somewhere else as far as our brains are concerned! We mind-wander during pleasant (even sex!) and unpleasant activities. And our wandering does not even make our unpleasant moments any less unpleasant. We just (mentally) leave the unpleasant task and instead go ruminate about ourselves and feel down and depressed.

Amisha Jha’s research revealed a way to give our brain a tune-up. Mindfulness lessens our tendency to mind-wander. Following mindfulness training, participants were more successful at staying on task. Now, for a pleasant task, we can see why we would like to mind-wander less. But what about those unpleasant tasks? Why would I want to be more present for those? First, we can see from Killingsworth’s research, mind-wandering did not make the unpleasant tasks any more tolerable. And when we are fully present in the moment, we are more likely to find creative solutions, find the rose amidst the thorns, and truly leave the unpleasant task in the past and not carry it forward into rumination.

Jha and Killingsworth seem to present a clear choice for each of us to make: ruminate or meditate.

Naropa University’s Varela Lecture Series: “Mindfulness & Neuroscience” with Amishi Jha, PhD

Walking along a beautiful wooded path, when suddenly your foot slips – how does your body respond? With a small tilt, we stiffen head-to-toe. Simply by becoming rigid, we stay upright and continue on our way. A larger stumble demands more flair – we flex and sway to bring our wayward body back under center. For a big tumble of the “OMG” variety, we step into the spill. If all goes well, we stay upright, breathe a sigh of relief, and continue unscathed.

With our body’s example of a multi-dimensional response to keep us upon our feet, why do so many of us settle for just one option to maintain our emotional balance of the denial/distraction reaction? Denial and distraction are the emotional equivalent of our body’s stiffening reaction. We experience a short-term respite. During a greater distress, this emotional rigidity quickly results in diminishing returns. Being limited to just one trick, we slip into “If I only try harder, it will work this time.” And down we go!

How can we expand our repertoire of responses to life’s emotional ups and downs? Mindfulness broadens our range of options through two steps. First, we begin to notice our knee-jerk slip into denial and distraction. We also notice the receding benefits of this limited reaction and the expanding cost paid over time.

Secondly, our expanded awareness also creates a gap between the event and my reaction. Within this gap, I discover a fork in the road – I can choose to continue to rerun the denial/distraction reaction or experiment with new responses, such as stepping into the moment. Exploring this new path, we may discover we are surprisingly capable of being amidst life’s to and fro. Even if we settle upon the rigidity route, actively choosing denial and distraction to make it through the event, we still leave the door open for choosing self-compassion down the road.

Mindfulness invites us to free ourselves from the knee-jerk of rigidity, to discover a fluidity in response to all that life offers - be it ups or downs and everything in-between.

(While this article addresses physical pain, much of the same brain processes are also active when experiencing emotional pain.)

During a walk in the bush, Lorimer Moseley experienced a sensation of something touching his ankle. He dismissed the sensory experience as just a stick and continued on. After returning to consciousness, he found himself in the hospital being treated for an Eastern Brown snake (the world’s second most venomous) bite! Six months later, and fully recovered, walking in the bush, he again experienced the sensation of something touching his leg. This time, he experienced “white hot poker pain screaming up my leg.” Upon the ground, writhing in pain, his mate pointed out the source of the sensation: a small scratch from a twig. What is going on here? The answer to this question reveals how mindfulness helps us manage chronic pain.

Moseley just so happens to be a neuroscientist who studies pain. In his lab, they have demonstrated how some simple visual cues can radically alter our perception of pain. Viewing a red light will make a cold probe feel more painful on the skin than a blue light. Viewing a number on a dial being turned up or down will alter the severity of pain reported, with no change in the actual pain stimulus. Most amazing, Moseley has been able to induce the sensation of pain in a person’s arm when touching a fake plastic arm or another person’s arm with a knife. These “tricks” demonstrate that pain is a product not of damage to our body, but is created by the brain. Why would our brain be so easily deceived and misled?

Consider the purpose of pain. Our brain is constantly bombarded with information about current conditions from inside and outside. From this vast amount of information, the brain is seeking to answer two fundamental questions: “What does this mean?” and “What should I do?” Over time, our brain creates a collection of memories to compare now to the past in order to answer these two crucial questions.

While our brain is capable of amazing feats, the above examples demonstrate how easily it can misinterpret the meaning of the information. We find ourselves driven to take action based not on the present conditions, but based on our collection of memories. Most of this assessment occurs beneath our current level of awareness.

For the sufferer of chronic pain, long after the tissue has healed, their brain remains on high alert to prevent the debilitating effects of pain once again. In essence, the brain becomes tuned to quickly identify the conditions that led to pain in the past. But this tuning is biased towards false alarms. While it makes you more prone to avoid situations that produce pain, it also makes you a prisoner of the possibility that pain may occur, even when current conditions are unlikely to result in tissue damage. Ironically, as the walls of pain avoidance continue to close in, the adaptations of our brain increase the likelihood of false alarms. Due to our brain’s attempt to avoid pain, we become more likely to experience pain.

Many tools and paths are available to break out of your prison of pain. Physical therapists can evaluate your true movement capability and design exercise programs that improve strength and mobility. Mindfulness practices allow us to recalibrate are brain to more accurately assess the current conditions. To more accurately answer the questions “what does this mean?” and “what should I do?” As we retune our brain, we gain access to the keys to free us from the prison of pain and live life more engaged in the here-now.

TEDxAdelaide - Lorimer Moseley - Why Things Hurt

In the Taoist tale “A Farmer’s Horse Ran Off,” we encounter a wise farmer and his neighbor. Each day, an event unfolds for the farmer: his horse runs off, the horse returns with a beautiful mare, the farmer’s son breaks his leg when thrown by the new mare. On and on, the neighbor, witnessing these events, insists that the farmer judge them to be good or bad. In response, the farmer replies, “I do not know if it is good…or if it is bad.” What is this farmer’s deal?! Seems clear, or is it?

Each day, each moment, events unfold in our lives. We typically label these events as either good or bad. As the day unfolds, we accumulate events until one category prevails and the day is labeled “good or bad.” The labeling continues to accumulate into weeks, months, and years. The natural outcome of all this labeling: my life is either “good or bad.” While the “good” label may seem inviting, the ensuing attachment and craving for more good can create as much suffering as the label of “bad.”

But labeling does not stop with events. Labeling spills over into our evaluation of self, others and the world. The most prominent category then determines self, others and the world as good or bad.

But the process does not even stop with a label. For once, the scales tip over into a judgment of self, others and the world as good or bad, we become conditioned to seeing more evidence that confirms the judgment and blinds us to the contrary. In the end, my little moment-to-moment labeling will ultimately drive and distort my perception of self, others and the world. Is it a stretch to consider that one bad day can, over time, color as me as bad, others as bad and the world as bad? Perhaps not.

Can we prevent this accumulation of judgment from leading to a distortion of perception? Mindfulness offers us an opportunity to reverse the process. Sitting and observing our breath opens the door to observing self in relationship to each event. We not only see our relationship to the event, but we also see the habitual filters that color the relationship. Each opportunity to observe the filter also acts as a solvent, dissolving away the distortions, until we finally begin to see each moment as simply an event, and not a self-confirming prophecy. Each unconfirmed interaction washes away long-held myths and reveals a fresh moment, a fresh perspective, a fresh relationship.

Breath by breath, moment by moment, a new opportunity arises to step out beyond the old distortions and into the newness of Now.

Wisdom Tales from Around the World: A Farmer’s Horse Ran Off

What is your current relationship with stress? Do you hide from it, or try to run away? Or do you make a deal that if you work hard enough, it should go away? If your current relationship is not working, how about renegotiation?

First, let’s understand what stress is. From the original definition by Dr. Hans Selye, stress is “The non-specific response of an organism to any pressure or demand.” Notice how stress is not judged as good or bad, but simply a generalized response. Our first clue to this new relationship: non-judgment. And what is this generalized response? When we perceive a threat, hormones are released in our body. These hormones trigger a rapid rise in heartbeat, breathing faster, blood shifts from the central core out to the muscles of the arms and legs, and senses become more acute. Second clue to our new relationship: stress is about our body preparing.

And what are we preparing for? The stress reaction allows us to take action. The fight-or-flight reaction mobilizes all our resources towards this end. Now to the third clue towards our new relationship. After we take action, our body naturally returns to a state of relaxation and rest.

Now let’s put all the clues together: our stress reaction is neither good nor bad and is about short-term action followed by rest. Our body evolved not to be in a chronic stress state, but to shift between action and rest. The stress reaction can be extremely beneficial when we need to call upon all our resources for a burst of action; be it giving a presentation, rounding the bases for home plate, or dodging an oncoming car. And then our bodies require rest and recharge.

Unfortunately, this burst of action state has been mistaken for a new baseline. We become rewarded for this action state and forget that it requires a complementary period of rest and relaxation. We place undue expectations that we SHOULD be capable of that level of action at all times. This all-action and no-rest leads to depression, anxiety, and a whole host of chronic medical issues.

So, let’s make this year one of balance, including both action and rest. Balance arises out of choice in this moment. Choice arises out of recognition. Recognition arises out of awareness. Awareness arises out of intention. Mindfulness practices support both intention and awareness.

Happy New Year - and welcome to a new relationship with stress!

For me, it has included holding our newborn son, gazing through a telescope upon the rings of Saturn and any opportunity to witness a starlit sky absent city lights. How about you? When have you experienced awe? We all can recall moments when time suspends and space opens. What is the effect of these moments? In a study of awe at Stanford, researchers found that “…these jaw-dropping moments made participants feel like they had more time available and made them more patient, less materialistic, and more willing to volunteer time to help others. Experiences of awe help to bring us into the present moment, which, in turn, adjusts our perception of time, influences our decisions, and makes life feel more satisfying…”

More time, more patience, less materialistic, more giving, more satisfaction. Who would not want these on their wish list? Are these moments happenstance? How do we tend the garden to increase the likelihood of awe in our lives? From the description of awe above, we find striking similarities to the sages’ descriptions of Samadhi, Beginners Mind and I-Thou. Such moments have been known by many names over the eons. As the researchers noted, awe is a universal experience. Perhaps it is not as obscure as our day-to-day lives would suggest. Perhaps awe is core to our human experience.

How can we make ourselves more awe-prone? Mindfulness offers us the opportunity to leave our time-traveling conditioned mind and drop into this moment. For it is in this moment that awe resides. We do not so much as make awe, as surrender into the experience. Down beneath the day-to-day clutter and chaos, awe awaits us all. And once we surrender into this moment, we find ourselves to be calm, compassionate and connected.

Consider, during this season, giving yourself and others the gift of awe. Not found by clicking on Amazon. But simply found wherever we intentionally choose to pause, breathe and be.

Being in awe can expand time and enhance well-being

When the air turns crisp and white frost blankets the ground, we are drawn to return home, to reconnect, to remember. This Thanksgiving, consider a homecoming of another sort: coming home to our bodies.

What drives us from our bodies? We become lost in doing mode: I have to get somewhere and do something. Our mental world becomes a trap of lists to do, problems to solve, and decisions to make. Over time, this doing mode becomes our standard operating procedure, creating a separation between the realms of mind and body. We become James Joyce’s Mr. Duffy, who “…lived a short distance from his body.” Taking time to be is relegated to “I will get to that later,” but later never arrives. What is the outcome of this all do and no be? Anxiety, exhaustion, dullness.

For some, due to trauma or pain, body may no longer be a welcoming experience. Being in body may seem a strange, scary, and foreign land to venture into. Unknown dangers dwell there, so instead we seek solace in distraction and denial. But distraction and denial never offer a lasting haven, but just a momentary respite.

Coming home to body requires an intentionality and a path. Mindfulness offers an intentional journey back to the realm of body. We learn to go beneath the judgment and criticism of chattering mind. We linger a little longer in the discomfort, only to discover the discomfort is temporary. We practice acceptance and patience with the arising sensations and emotions present within body. As we again take up residence in our Earthly vessel, we rediscover body as a land of comfort, joy, and pleasure. This Thanksgiving, how about a return home to body? Our body can once again become our refuge of calm, our wise guide of intuition, and our connection to others through a loving embrace.

Everywhere I drive these days, heavy machinery is tearing up and reconstructing my route. The next time you are caught in one of these stop-and-go moments, watch the way these machines are tearing up your way and laying down a new path, and realize how we recall a past event is quite similar. When we seek to recall a past event, imagine first seeing the big orange diamond sign of Construction Zone ahead.

A study by NYU neuroscientist Joe LeDoux reveals that memories are not an unchanging snapshot, but a fresh new reconstruction in the moment. Each time we recall the event, we not only recombine the various bits of detail but also add in shades of emotions, echoes of thoughts, and shifts of sensations from the present. Memories are as much colored by our present as our past.

How often are we limited in the present by a memory of past failure? When I consider tackling a particular task, my heart begins to race, sweat beads on my brow, and I am frozen in the fear of failing again. Better to just give up and avoid than feel the pain of failure again. I become safe in my stagnant little cocoon of fear.

What if I could reconstruct that memory? Imagine now recalling the event, but this time as the memory arises, tearing up all its parts and reconstructing with a broader perspective. Maybe I did the best I could. Maybe conditions were beyond my control. Rather than laden the memory with more guilt and shame, maybe I could hold the memory in the grace of self-compassion.

In mindfulness, we learn to hold such past events as a mother holds a baby. Rather than harsh criticism, we offer a loving embrace. We hold our past without judgment, without striving; with patience, acceptance, and curiosity. We construct a broader perspective of the past event. We discover lessons learned to apply in the present. We free ourselves from the past to arrive in the present, with knowledge and skills to move forward on a new path of our design.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Rat

Remember the excitement of back-to-school. All the potential within empty notebooks and freshly sharpened pencils. A new teacher and new classmates. Something about novelty that awakens our minds to fresh ideas.

Then we have the final graduation and get a job. September looks a lot like August. Same drive to work. Same desk with old, worn pencils. Same coworkers across from the lunch table or Zoom call. Same drive home.

As adults, can we reclaim this season of new learning? Yes! We can access Beginner’s Mind: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few,” Shunryu Suzuki shares in the classic, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. Expert Mind may have knowledge, but lacks openness. Trafton Drew illustrated the limitation of Expert Mind in action in a study of radiologists. He asked the radiologists to review a scan of a patient’s lungs for nodes indicative of cancer. Pasted into this scan was a photo of a man in a gorilla suit. While these radiologists were extremely skilled at identifying the cancerous nodes, 83% missed the gorilla. Eye scans revealed they had looked directly at where the gorilla was present in the photo. What was going on here?

When in Expert Mind mode, we fail to “see the forest through the trees.” Vision is more than seeing. In Expert Mind, we filter out what is deemed irrelevant. Hence the invisible gorilla. Drew’s group has run this type of experiment in several variations with different populations. This selective attention typically arises when assigned a task to complete. Consider, as adults, how often we are rewarded for how well we do a task versus openly connecting with the experience of the moment. What is a radiologist (or any of us) to do?

Mindfulness offers an opportunity to reclaim our capacity to see all the possibilities in the moment. It invites us to see not just the trees, but the forest. Not just the problem, but the solutions. Not just the regret of the past or worry of the future, but possibilities in the present, as well.

So, once your kiddo has hopped on the bus, take a moment to settle in on the cushion. With each in-breath, wash away Expert Mind. With each out-breath, expand your awareness into Beginner’s Mind.

Class is in session!

Why Even Radiologists Can Miss A Gorilla Hiding In Plain Sight

After weeks of 80s and 90s, today dropped down into the 70s - ahhhhh. In late summer, we spend our days between a blast furnace outside or inside frigid offices and stores. Then, Mother Nature offers us a respite. One day, we throw open the windows and feel a cool breeze.

As I enjoyed this day, I am reminded of how I feel following a session of meditation. Depending upon the day, when I arrive upon the cushion, I may initially find myself carrying in all the clutter and chaos of the preceding hours. Mind may jump from reactions to what has already unfolded to a waiting To Do list; regret over something said or not said to fear of consequences of something done or not done; questioning choices made to uncertainty of decisions yet to be made. For those who do not meditate, this litany may make them question the merits of putting myself amid the day’s events. Most of us become quite skillful at a whole host of methods to avoid such exposure: the latest app, reality TV show, or the hottest game!

Why in heaven’s name would anyone want to make direct contact with all the grit and grim of the day? Two reasons: 1) after the skillful avoidance, all that we have been avoiding is still waiting in the wings, and 2) avoidance of the yuck of life also results in missing out on the yum! At some point, shutting down and tuning out becomes standard operating procedure for all we encounter, pleasant and unpleasant.

Mindfulness offers us a third way. Just like a cool day offers a break from a heat wave, a period of mindful meditation creates a respite without avoidance. Continuing the weather metaphor, meditation invites us to sit in the center of the storm. As we sit, we shift our relationship with the clutter and chaos. We discover that no matter how much turmoil, we have the capacity to simply observe. And from this objective seat, we discover a me bigger than the clutter and chaos. A me that remains unperturbed no matter how perturbing the day. A me that can access calm and creativity.

So, as we face another August (and September) of the 90s, realize we do not have to depend upon the weather person to announce the next cool breeze of relief. We can summon a moment of relief anytime, anywhere - simply by settling into stillness, shifting focus to breath and body, and arriving in the here-now.

We seek certainty. It just feels good to know something, really know it. But how certain our you about certainty? Consider this: in our universe, astrophysicists can identify, be certain of only about 5% of all the stuff (matter and energy) contained within (dark matter makes up 23%, and dark energy, the remaining 72%). They can make measurements that demonstrate the relationship that all this unknown stuff has on the known stuff. But we have no certainty as to what it is. Now, how certain can you be about the stuff you come into contact with, when at best, only 5% of all stuff is known? Feeling a little uncertain yet?!

Uncertainty can feel scary. How can I make a decision unless I am certain about all the factors affecting my decision? Uncertainty can trigger our fight-flight-freeze reaction. We all develop our particular strategy of how to deal with these moments. Do you freeze into inaction, plow forward come hell or high water, or run away into distractions? While any one of these may work some of the time, rarely does one reaction resolve all the varied uncertainty that arises in our lives.

Enter mindfulness. What effect can mindfulness have during these moments of uncertainty? Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose. This act of paying attention to the moment-to-moment unfolding of our life invites us to be with what is (aka suspending judgment and practicing acceptance). As I allow myself to observe the unfolding of the world outside and my reaction inside, I can become aware of my usual reaction to uncertainty. And I create the space to hold both the uncertainty and my reaction to it. In this holding space, I engage wise mind. Wise mind integrates my rational and emotional brain networks, resulting in a more accurate assessment of the current situation. And results in a more creative response. Goodbye knee-jerk, hello best fit for the current situation, uncertainty and all! (Including the possibility of no action and simply being with the uncertainty).

So, the next time you feel uncomfortable with uncertainty, stop, breathe, and join the club hanging out in the uncertain 95%!

What is the Universe Made Of?

Last month, emotions appeared to steer our decisions against our better nature (“CAKE!”). So, being more like Mr. Spock (Live long and prosper)seems to be the way to go, right? Not so fast. In the same Radiolab show where we learned about the magic number seven, we later learned of the benefit of emotions in decision-making. Imagine our memory like snapshots that record all the sensory details, our thoughts and emotions of an event. When we again encounter a similar experience, our memory taps into all these past snapshots, but not directly via our awareness. Rather, the snapshots form an aggregation of all the past times we encountered these particular circumstances. What arises in our awareness is better known as a gut feeling. We may not be able to articulate our reaction due to it arising from this different way of knowing.

Another study revealed the power of this other way of knowing. People were asked to choose one of two posters: an impressionistic one or the famous (infamous!) “hang in there” kitty (the one with the cute little kitten hanging from a branch). Before making their selection, one group was told they would have to explain their choice. The other group simply left with a new free poster. Six months later, each person was asked to rate how much they still liked their poster. By a significant margin, the people who had to explain their choice no longer liked their poster (interestingly, this group more often chose “hang in there” kitty). What does this study reveal? Having to explain a decision requires calling upon our rational brain. The group who could go with their gut was more likely to make a choice true to their liking.

So, where does this leave us on decisions? We see from last month how emotions can lead us astray when the rational brain is overwhelmed. We see from this month how decisions that rely on rational brain may lead us astray, as well. What is a person to do?!

Two considerations help us out of this decision-making conundrum. First, consider the complexity of the decision. Imagine a decision, like whether to use a red or blue pen. A simple decision like this has very few variables to weigh and typically can easily be resolved. The more complex the decision, the more factors to weigh (remember Robin Williams in the movie “Moscow on the Hudson” trying to purchase coffee). Once a decision moves beyond seven factors, our emotions offer an alternative insight via our gut feeling.

*Now, we arrive at the second consideration. How can we know if we are accessing accurate snapshots that form our gut feeling?

Remember the original function of this gut feeling? On the savannah, it served as a wonderful predictor of danger. The hair rising on the back of our neck literally saved our neck when the snapshots added up to “RUN [lion behind that bush!].” In other words, our snapshots are biased towards fear. But now that we live in safe, cozy lion-free homes, our snapshot bias needs some retuning. Mindfulness offers an opportunity to step back and observe our arising gut feeling. Not to be confused with analyzing (lest we end up with a “hang in there” kitty upon our living room wall), observing allows us to pause prior to acting upon our gut feeling. Pausing invites an integration of both of our decision-makers. No more angel-devil battle, just a calm little Buddha within!

Overcome By Emotion

Ever get the feeling you are torn between two decision-makers inside: one good for you and the other not so much (insert image of devil-angel here!)? In reality, you are! In a sneaky study, participants were assigned a two- or seven-digit number to memorize. They were then to leave room number one, walk down a hallway to room number two, where they would recite the memorized two- or seven-digit number.

During their trek down the hallway, a person approaches with a plate bearing two treats, “Would you like a snack? You can choose either this huge slice of yummy chocolate cake or this healthy bowl of fruit. Which would you like?”

By up to a factor of 30, the people having to hold seven numbers in their heads chose the cake over the fruit. This study demonstrates the two decision-making regions of our brain: rational/deliberative and emotional/unconscious. These two regions are in constant conflict. What this study reveals is how easily our rational region can be maxed out - just seven numbers held in memory! That is all it took to overwhelm our rational center and allow the emotional region to take over and yell out, “CAKE!”

Day-to-day, we are faced with countless decisions. But it only takes seven factors to max out our rational-deliberative decision-making capacity. Now, consider not just a decision maxing out our rational center, but what about a really stressful day? How much more are we at the mercy of the emotional/unconscious decider inside? (CAKE!).

What are we to do? Mindfulness offers us an opportunity to step back and observe these two brain networks at play. By inserting a pause into the process, we invite an opportunity for the rational/deliberative region to regain a footing and offer a more balanced decision-making process. Now we are back in the driver’s seat and not at the whim of which way the emotional wind is blowing!

How Much Is Too Much?

Question: What do marshmallows and the four Noble Truths have in common?

Answer: craving.

Upon observing his children, psychologist Walter Mischel became curious about delayed gratification. He observed this capacity to appear around the age of four. In a clever experiment, he placed children of various ages in a plain room with a table and chair. Upon this table lay one marshmallow. Children were offered a choice: either take the one marshmallow or wait and receive two (anyone who is a parent can see where this is going!). Mischel did find that the ability to hold off from the one to receive the two did appear around age four. And he also observes a wide variation, from children who could not wait a mere seconds up to a champion gratification-delayer who waited an astounding twenty minutes! But this was not the most fascinating aspect of the study. Years later, when asking his children about how their classmates were faring (the children in the previous study attended that same school as Mischel’s children), he stumbled upon an amazing discovery. The children who could make it the second marshmallow were doing much better in school than those who could not wait. Fascinated, Mischel began to track several performance factors of these children. Now in their forties, the children who could delay gratification typically had more stable and secure adulthoods. While many factors can contribute to these outcomes, the effect of the capacity to delay gratification offers a fascinating consideration.

Mischel suggests that the simple act of delaying gratification may go far beyond just a few minutes with a marshmallow to many other life challenges. What separated the delayers from the dive-right iners? The children who could successfully wait for the two marshmallows all employed some sort of strategy: kicking the table, telling a story that the marshmallow was a cloud, turning their backs upon the sweet object of desire. Was this innate, or could it be learned? Mischel found that the children who previously ate the first marshmallow could be successful once taught a delay strategy.

So, what does this have to do with the Four Noble Truths? In a nutshell, the four noble truths reveal that due to having bodies, we will have sensory experiences that will result in craving and suffering. That is the bad news. The good news, we can learn how to be free from the pull of craving. While Mischel’s marshmallow children used common strategies of distraction and denial, mindfulness meditation offers us a far more powerful strategy. By developing my capacity to observe my cravings, in all three realms of body, mind and emotions, I also develop the capacity to be liberated from having to act upon these cravings. This in no way limits my enjoyment when I do have a sensory experience, but allows me to choose the time and place when I indulge versus delay. Mindfulness offers me the opportunity to “have my cake and eat it too,” just maybe a little later after I have made it to the gym and home to have vegetables and whole grains first!

Mischel’s Marshmallows

Multiple studies have demonstrated that women and marginalized populations score lower on standardized tests. A researcher, Claude Steele, sought to understand this gap. He first administered a standardized test to women under typical test conditions: lab-coated test proctors present an intelligence test with minimal further interaction. The previously identified lower scores repeated. Then, he had the test proctor present the test with the following statement, “You may have heard that women perform more poorly on standardized tests, but that is not true for this particular test, never has been, never will be.” The performance gap completely vanished. He repeated the study, with various opening statements, changing the expectation of what the test was measuring. Words like test and intelligence were removed. That is all it took to remove the performance gaps for traditionally marginalized participants.

One factor was crucial to elicit this performance gap. The test had to be challenging. Only then does the performance gap rear its ugly head. Why would the difficulty of the test matter? For easy test questions, the performance was the same between privileged and marginalized participants. It is only when the questions become more challenging that doubt would creep into the test-taker’s thoughts, “Maybe it’s true, maybe I am really not that smart, maybe what they say about me is true.” The added challenge opened the door for self-defeating thoughts to enter, resulting in a performance gap.

These self-defeating thoughts can only impair our abilities when they acquire a foothold. Frequently, these thought patterns are laid down very early in life. Over time, we may reinforce these thoughts when evidence appears to support our limitations and not our strengths. Mindfulness offers an opportunity to observe our unfolding thoughts and reality test their validity, rather than blindly accept. In essence, a self-defeating thought is not different than any other thought, until we allow ourselves to believe it.

The Obama Effect, Perhaps.

For many of us, the hopefulness of a grand change we rang in as the clock turned on New Year’s Eve has already faded. But is all hope really lost? A recent study suggests not. Researchers surveyed 19,000 people on how much they had changed in the past ten years compared to how much they believe they will change in the next ten years. Whether it was a 30-year-old, 40-year-old or 50-year-old, people were consistent in believing personality, core values or preferences were now fixed even after noticing change in the past 10 years. We underestimate our capacity for future change.

The research did reveal that change is a constant, regardless of age. Just as winter will turn to spring, so shall our capacity for change offer the opportunity to remake ourselves anew.

So, given that change is inevitable, how can we join with this process? One option is to go blindly forward, like a rudderless ship, allowing the external current to determine our path. The alternative is to become an active participant in this process. The first step to participation is awareness. Just like planning a journey to San Francisco, the first step is to know if I am starting in Chicago or Buenos Aires. Awareness invites me to assess the reality of who I am today? From this insightful vantage point, awareness also invites me to actively choose how I will respond to the unfolding now. And it is in this unfolding in the now that I have the power to enact real change.

You Can’t See It, But You’ll Be A Different Person In 10 Years

In the Sufi tale of Looking for the Key, we find the wise sage Mulla Nasrudin searching for his lost key outside his home. A passer-by, curious about Mulla’s searching in the dust, offers to help. As time passes, the crowd grows, assisting in the search, as promises grow of riches to be shared once the key is found.

After many hours, a young boy asks Mulla, “Are you certain you dropped the key right here?” “No,” replies Mulla, “…I lost the key somewhere inside my house.” The crowd stops and asks, “Why are we looking out here?” “Your insight is clear…,” responds Mulla, “… it is far too dark to look for the key in my house. There is far more light out here!”

As we approach another turning of the year, making resolutions to do more of this or less of that, where are you looking for this change to occur? Far too often, while we honestly seek change, we look where the “light is brightest,” only at the action. But from both neuroscience and Buddhism, we learn that all action is preceded by intention. Athletes use the power of mental imagery to perform a specific movement in order to improve their abilities. In this mental rehearsal, nearly all the same neurons are fired just as though their body is actually moving. What if we put this power of intention to work in our daily lives?

As we seek change, either prompted by New Year’s Eve or later in the year, consider a new approach: learning how to shine the light into those dark areas where intention dwells. Mindfulness practices invite us to witness the unfolding thoughts that drive emotions and behavior. This simple act of observation creates a gap between trigger and reaction. And within this gap dwells choice: the choice to continue to reinforce the habitual reactions or experiment with a new response. Remembering that “neurons that fire together, wire together,” we invite true long-term behavior change with each choice made anew. And a true “out with the old, and in with the new” arises.

Wisdom Tales from Around the World: Looking for the key

During one of the most violent periods of human history, an island of Peace appeared. Christmas Eve in 1914, German soldiers decorated their trenches with small candlelit Christmas scenes and sang Christmas carols. Drawn out by curiosity and perhaps a respite from the misery, British soldiers proceeded forth into No-Man’s-Land under the cover of darkness to explore the unexpected scene. Once discovered by the Germans, rather than reverting to fear, a brief truce spontaneously emerged. Over a few days, conversations arose, songs were sung, gifts were exchanged, and meals were shared. It was only after the generals caught wind of a break in hostility that these men were forced to once again bury their better nature.

This story, of peace and compassion arising amidst such pain and suffering, is a profound reminder of Thich Nhat Hanh’s teaching on human aggression and compassion: “When the seeds of happiness in you are watered, you will become happy. When the seed of anger in you is watered, you will become angry. The seeds that are watered frequently are those that will grow strong.” If the soldiers whose sole purpose was to kill the hated other could open to their innate compassion, how about us? Not only during this blessed season of Goodwill, but each day of the year? Which seeds shall we water today and tomorrow?

From a story on NPR, we learn of a study of our DNA. From examining the DNA of 179 persons without any overt sign of disease or disorders, a remarkable finding was made. The average person has about 400 genetic mutations. So, no one is perfect!

We all have some sort of imperfection, all the way down to our DNA. And yet, how many of us are unable to tolerate the more obvious perceived imperfections, all the expectations and shoulds we fail to live up to. Perhaps those expectations dwell within a mythical realm where everyone is flaw-free, right down to their DNA.

As for me, I will take this realm, flaws and all. Much better to learn to experience all life has to offer in this flawed realm rather than continually suffer the fate of Icarus and his failed flight. I will take all that this “flawed” experience offers, all the joys and pains. But I do not dwell in this realm ill-equipped. I navigate these lands with the practice of mindfulness to support me. To expose the unrealistic thoughts that might otherwise doom me, to caress the surge of emotions that might otherwise overwhelm me, to hold the physical pain that might crush me.

Mindfulness offers suspending judgment of our so-called flawed realm, suspending striving for unrealistic pursuits of perfection, patience with the unfolding flow, acceptance of that beyond my control, and curiosity to delve deeper into this realm, warts and all!

Peace,

Paul

Perfection Is Skin Deep: Everyone Has Flawed Genes

I took an extraordinary step the other day. Actually, I took no steps while texting. And oh, what a relief it was. To have my feet firmly planted in a safe spot (as opposed to crossing a street!) and enjoy focusing on a single task. As the attached link explains, multi-tasking is a myth. Oh, how I wish it could be removed from job descriptions, “must be good at multi-tasking.” We might as well add to the job description, “must be good at flapping arms and flying around the room.” We are only capable of focusing on one item (internal or external) at any given moment. Multi-tasking is a misnomer. What we do is rapidly shift our attention between different phenomena. As described in the attached NPR story, this capacity to rapidly shift attention may have had an evolutionary advantage. But our hunter-gather ancestors were not rapidly shifting between smartphone, email and podcast (and pot boiling on the stove and boss yelling on Zoom!). Studies on attention and interruptions reveal that we require from 7-25 minutes to return to a task. Now, how much time are we saving, and how much more productive are we with multitasking?

Now, consider being able to focus on one task. Completely. Feel breath deepen, body relax and mind become laser-like focused on one task. Imagine this to be your standard operating procedure.

While we may desire this opportunity, we often find ourselves trapped in a pseudo-multitasking mode. Even if we want to slow down and really smell the roses, our minds continue to make To Do lists or worry or plan or scan. Mindfulness invites us to practice and reclaim our capacity to be fully present, fully focused, fully engaged, in this moment, in this one task. Ahhh…

Think You’re Multitasking? Think Again

I recently came across a quote by Dr. Hans Selye, “…it is important to keep in mind that stress is an abstraction; it has no independent existence.” Selye was the researcher who coined the term stress in the 1950s, so this quote is worth exploring. Most of us think of stress as the events in our lives that result in struggle and suffering. Selye proposed just the opposite: stress is not outside, but is found inside. Stress is the relationship we create with these external events. When speaking about relationships, we may or may not be able to affect the outside half in this equation. We always have the capacity to affect our half of this relationship.

Mindfulness offers a twofold approach to managing our half. First, I can observe my habitual reaction to the external event. Secondly, I can choose to comply with the old way or experiment with a new response. We may find a better outcome from this experimentation. Remembering the adage that “neurons that fire together wire together,” this new response may just become my new normal for how I relate to the external event. Mindfulness practices offer us this opportunity to practice this option.

Greetings! Please watch this fascinating TED talk on studying happiness. Apparently, more stuff does not make us happier (OK, no surprise there!). Does “wandering mind” make us happy? Apparently not. Even during an unpleasant experience, taking a trip in our minds does not provide a break or escape, just more unhappiness. This dovetails well with the mindfulness approach to be in full contact with whatever is unfolding, whether I like it or not, I am more likely to experience the transient nature of reality. This increased experience of impermeance leads to acceptance, patience and freedom from habitual mind states that drive our emotions and behaviors.

Want to be happier? Stay in the moment

Peace! Paul